Marilyn A. Stucky

MARILYN STUCKY, LIFE SKETCH

By LaVern Stucky

It was harvest weather, June 3 1940 on a rented farm two miles southeast of Potwin, Ks.   Here in a strange community far from either of their homes, newlyweds Marvin and Verta Goebel worked to establish a home. The farm’s soil was thin and rocky and the house was drafty but it was a start. Verta was ‘expecting’ and in her ninth month, they had no car and the hospital was more than 20 miles away .  

Luckily these struggling newlyweds were able to count on Marvin’s sister who lived in Newton.  She invited Verta to stay at her house until the baby arrived. Insistent on earning her keep, Verta was in the garden picking peas when her water broke and she was rushed to Bethel Deaconess Hospital. That day, June 3, 1940 a baby girl, Marilyn Aileen, weighing  6 lbs 12oz was born to Marvin and Verta (Cox) Goebel. On June 20 1940 after paying the $40 hospital  charge the family was released to go home. Ironically, eighty-four years later, June 20, 2024 Marilyn’s life on earth ended and she went ‘Home’ again. She was a temporary resident of Paramount Rehab Center in Newton, KS where she was recovering from broken bones caused by a fall complicated by dementia and osteoporosis.

Marilyn was quick to become a daddy’s girl, but they had their moments like the time he and the old tractor were working in a nearby field he looked into the distance and saw little Marilyn coming toward him. Frustrated, Marvin, who thought Verta was watching Marilyn, went to his shop, found some leather from an old horse harness and fashioned a harness for Marilyn so that she could be hooked to the clothesline!

It was exciting growing up in the Goebel family with five boys and one girl born between 1940 and 1946. They might baptize chickens or ride calves as pretend cowboys or maybe play a basketball game. Most things they played together, but Marilyn was less reckless with her bicycle and they refused to play dolls with her. She and Jerroll often had dishwashing duty. She enjoyed school, was a popular student with many friends. Sleepovers were fun, but the boys would often terrorize the girls. She enjoyed music and played the violin and flute, was a percussionist in the marching band and pep band and a member of several singing groups.It was in high school that she met LaVern Stucky who turned out to be the love of her life.

Marilyn’s family believed it takes ‘a village to raise a child’ long before the idea became popular. In addition to her parents she had a string of aunts who were helpful and involved in her development. They exposed her to skills and methods that would be helpful to her as an adult, including sewing, housekeeping skills and a strong work ethic. Marilyn was a hard worker and not one to stand by in hopes that someone else would do the job. After we became a part of BCMC, Marilyn was asked to help in the kitchen. The buzz after that event was, “We could cut the kitchen workforce in half if we could clone Marilyn Stucky.

Marilyn was baptized into First Mennonite Church of Christian in Moundridge by Rev. P.P. Wedel. Later she joined the Zion Mennonite Church in Elbing and then finally the Bethel College Mennonite church in N. Newton. She nearly always taught in the youth Sunday school. She really enjoyed teaching these young kids because their minds were open and she found them entertaining. In Zion her leadership skills were recognized by the church making her its first women deacon and again by the Western District Conference appointing her to serve on its Women in Mission advisory board. At BCMC she directed her energy more toward the kitchen as a long time member of the funeral serving committee as well as the general kitchen committee.

Marilyn loved service projects and relished in the old adage ‘actions speak louder than words’. As a church youth sponsor she led work trips to Kansas City and Chicago. The family worked with MDS, Kansas Relief Sale. Wichita’s  Mennonite Housing; Kansas City’s Crossroads Community Services; some with Habitat for Humanity and other projects. During the Covid pandemic she let her hair to grow so that she could donate it to make wigs. Marilyn was glad when our daughter Cynthia choose to do a term of voluntary service. She had a strong desire to give and make others lives better.

Life at 1620 East 30th, Peabody was never dull and never slow! Marilyn’s new home was an instant community hub. She would host Mod parties, youth group parties, family reunions, board meetings and more. She was always about others and seldom about herself. She would often come home from shopping trip with the girls and  say, “I bought lunch.” However even tho she couldn’t find anything for herself, she might find a sport coat for me or a special tie.

Marilyn was a private person, with family as a top priority. She would do about anything for her kids, their spouses and grandkids. As a ‘stay at home Mom she helped her girls with school things, saxophone lessons, 4H, Girl Scouts and all the while teaching life lessons by example.  For her grandsons, she established a candy drawer, repurposing a little used drawer in the kitchen by filling it with candy, gum, cookies, crackers, Twinkies and more. Just what a kid needs at grandma’s house!  But there were limits. She refused to drink coffee. She said it smelled good and she would make it and serve it, but never would she drink it or even taste it.  Pepsi breaks with cookies, she loved ‘em!  Adult beverages, wouldn’t consider drinking them, she hated ‘em.  She never used foul language and she was critical of those who did. There are some walls that just can’t be breached.

She was very resolute. When I cut myself severely while harvesting, Marilyn wanted to go to the ER right now. I refused and continued to combine until after midnight when the field was completed. I showered, we had supper, sent the help home and went to the ER. She  was resolute and seemed to have a sixth sense about how to handle a situation wisely.

It was easy to take Marilyn out for a meal. She never really wanted to go, but when she did she would order a baked potato, plain or better yet, a slice of buttered toast. Steak, shrimp, pork chops, etc, no interest!  Maybe chicken nuggets. French fries, never touch em. Truth was, food was better at home.

She was a real dynamo when it came to celebrating family birthdays and other important events, but hers, not so much. She was generally content to call it off. She could be practical joker. Like the time she made me a birthday cake in the look and shape of a cow patty. She thought that was so very funny. Almost laughed till she was sick. Or when we would play a table game she would bring out this over size calculator and pen. The bigger issue might have been to get her to slow down enough to play a family game, but when she did she usually had a good time.

Marilyn was always style and grooming conscious. She took the resources that she had and turned them into the best product that she could. One lady who grew up near where we live told me recently, “I always thought that Marilyn was the best looking lady in the community.  She always looked so nice.”

Marilyn was an excellent homemaker as well as mother. She had a spotless house. It was hard for her to leave a mess for the next day. She seldom did. Things had their place and that is where they were supposed to be. She was very resolute, if she thought that something was not done right, she would redo it or demand that it be redone. This quest for precision was an asset to her in countless ways. In home management, in decorating, in yard care, in sewing and in many other ways she would have her eye on a goal and and she wasn’t satisfied until she reached it. 

Marilyn was a fantastic cook and she loved to do it. People who ate at her table were just fascinated by her ability to create delicious food. She would share her recipes with friends but they frequently couldn’t duplicate the result. Once when a meal with dinner guests was ending, a lady in the group proclaimed, “This is just like it came directly out of Betty Crocker”. Marilyn just beamed.

She was also an excellent baker. She made pies, (in season strawberry pie) and cakes and the most delicious frosted cinnamon rolls, but cookies were her specialty. She loved to make them. She made a large variety of cookies and put them in the deepfreeze. Church events, family events, you name it, you could count on Marilyn for cookies. If you stopped for a visit she would bring out the cookies. Marilyn also made excellent poppyseed rolls. Her layer of dough was thin and her layer of filling was thick. A delightful combination. When the Holiday season came we always had peppernuts, homemade candy, decorated sugar cookies, covered pretzels and a variety of cookies and homemade goodies.

Marilyn was always on the lookout for new great recipes but she never seemed to have a favorite recipe. When she created food for people she tried to fix food that they liked and wanted to eat. Marilyn always made lots of food. It often seemed like much too much for the occasion, but she would have been mortified, embarrassed beyond repair, if she would have ever run out of food or if a guest had left her table hungry.

Marilyn planted a large garden. The family ate well in season and she canned and froze the excess. Summers, with harvest, intense farm work, hired men demanded lots of food, cooking and field served meals. These were frequently quasi picnic affairs where in the shade of a truck she would spread an ‘eats cover’ that became her dining room table. When the truck filled up she was off to the grain elevator in town. She was a willing helper.

Beauty was always high on Marilyn’s priorities list. There were flower beds established all around the house and scattered through out the yard with flowers blooming from early spring to late fall. She had Christmas cactus that bloomed several times a year. She enjoyed wind chimes, bird feeders etc. One of her favorite things was to watch the birds come to the feeder right outside our dining room window. She would put hummingbird or finch feeders out in season.

The home that we designed and built in rural Peabody was her ultimate pride and joy. After living  in mobile homes for about  20 years with their lack of space and limited bathroom facilities we began to think it was time to create a house. Marilyn was ready! She had been collecting articles and pictures of her dream home since Jr.Hi. She had stacks of material about things she wanted in her kitchen, her laundry and sewing room, the bathrooms, the family room and on and on. For Marilyn the house was a dream come true. She was diligent in her efforts to keep it in immaculate condition. She would lemon oil, paint and touch up as needed. Her desire was that the house be in as good shape when she left it as it was when she first moved in. For the most part, she achieved her goal. She also worked hard to make the house into a home. Art work, furniture choices, pictures, seasonal displays etc, plus her eye for beauty achieved this goal. She collected and displayed antiques, Hummel figurines, carnival glass, pieces from relatives and other things that interested her.

She loved the challenge and she was energized by the result. For her there was something very special about getting it ‘just right’. She hated clutter and she liked perfection. To that end she would spend the time that it took to make sure that things were in their proper nitch, looked nice and were organized. She dearly loved her lifestyle and wanted to return to it when she got well. In fact we discussed it a variety of times when I sat with her in rehab. Her response was all ways I want to ‘go home’. “I am trying to walk, l’m try’n, l’m try’n.”

Marilyn loved to create. She could look at a piece of fabric and see a dress, or slacks, or whatever. Couple this with her love of sewing and an old reliable PFAFF sewing machine and she had what she needed to create nearly all the girls outfits through college and beyond,  nearly all her own  things, and some for me. She had an eye for fashion, an eye for color and the ability and skill to sew together beautiful clothing. The girls always had nice clothes in the current fashion. Occasionally Marilyn would create Barbie Doll outfits. When the girls and their friends would sometimes play Barbies together. These clothes would often emit a reaction like, “YOUR MOM MADE THOSE!  Man, I wish my Mom would do that.”

She was very talented when it came to crafty things. She did cross stitch, embroidery, knitting and even briefly tried toll painting, etc. We proudly display her work in our home. When we went to Relief Sale meetings, she would take this quilt top that she was cross stitching and work on it while the meeting was going on. The Publicity Committee liked it and used it in sale’s advertising. A very popular item that she made many of and gave them as gifts to newborns was her Baby Hoodie. It was made from a large bath towel and bath cloth put together just right, with some fancy sewing machine embroidery.

While there were some walls she wouldn’t tackle, most obstacles were just challenges. The year that Marilyn managed the Santa Claus booth at Towne West Square Mall, she arrived home Christmas Eve late. Family was scheduled to arrive for breakfast at 8:30 the next morning, then there will be noon and finally supper. Breakfast was ready when the guests arrived, cinnamon rolls, poppyseed rolls and eggs and bacon etc. Noon was special with her special cranberry and marshmallow salad, broccoli salad, candied sweet potatoes, ham and rice roll ups, butter horn rolls and much more topped off with her special peppermint ice cream  and chocolate dessert. Supper featured some leftovers but had new salads and deserts perhaps a pumpkin roll. Christmas was not a time to run out of food.

After the girls graduated high school and then college, the empty nest syndrome began to rear its ugly head with Marilyn feeling like she wanted to spend time in the workforce. She spent some time checking things out a bit and finally settled on a job at Wichita Clinic’s Newton Office. She started in medical records, when computers replaced the printed records, Marilyn was the last one to leave. When the clinic needed people to oversee the move to the new location, they chose Marilyn to be a part of the team. They took a liking to her and she to them in what turned out to be a 20 plus year entanglement. Even now after a long retirement, when she went there people made a special effort to greet her.

Marilyn made friends easily. She remembered and recognized people from the past. She was constantly being stopped on the street by someone who wanted to ‘catch up’. She exhibited hospitality, empathy and friendship to all. When she was in the hospital and in rehab they stuck her with needles that hurt, fed her pills she couldn’t swallow and choked on, made her get up and move when it hurt so bad that she cried in pain, but when they were done doing what they needed to, she looked them in their eye and said, “Thank You!” In every way she was ‘a lady to the end’.

Some of the most meaningful moments of our years together occurred in her last hospital and rehab stay. Perhaps they were made most meaningful because it was her last hospital stay. One evening as I sat with her and we were talking and reminiscing about the past, I said something about the fact that we had been together for nearly 66 years and it must have been a challenge for her to put up with me for all those years. She looked me in the eye and she said, “You know, these years have gone by so fast. We have had great times together. It’s been fun. I have really enjoyed our marriage.” I didn’t know what to say. All I could think of was, “Me Too, Me Too, MeToo.”

Marilyn leaves to mourn her husband LaVern, Peabody; daughters Cynthia and Charles Beth, Newton; Janelle and Grant Unrau, Saskatoon, SK; grandsons Matthew and Kristine Beth Wichita; Justin Beth, Newton and girlfriend Mollie Flickner, Hesston and great grandson Jaxson Beth, Wichita. Also special friends and German daughters Ute Appel and Heidi Thomason, Hildesheim, Germany and special family friend Lynne Beth, N. Newton. Brothers Jerroll and Carol Goebel, Moundridge; Roger and Debbie Goebel, Wichita; Ronald and Barbara Goebel, Eldridge, IA; sisters-in-law, Grace Dennis, Havre de Grace, MD; Nancy and Gary Blake, Galva; and Patricia Stucky, Galva; brother-in-law Ed and Dorothy Strausz, Alvin, TX. She is also mourned by many nieces, nephews, cousins, friends and neighbors.

Preceding her were a daughter Aileen Joy; her parents Marvin and Verta; her brothers Gordon and James; parents-in-law, Marion and Welma Stucky;  brother-in-law, Glenn Stucky and sister-in-law, Karlyn Strausz

The family suggests that in lieu of flowers memorials be given to Mennonite Central Committee (MCC), Bethel College Mennonite Church (BCMC) or Zion Mennonite Church. Memorials may be sent directly to recipients or to LaVern Stucky, 1962 E 30th, Peabody, Ks

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